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082704 10:17 a.m. "Blue poles infinitely winding, as I write, as I write"
Soft and gray and lazy. Within a few seconds of waking I remembered something awful and I felt
my heart along with everything else sink down into my shoes. Here on High Brazil we just repeat
the phrase "this is not happening" while sinking below the waves.
Sorry. That was an "Eric the Viking" reference.
I have a callback to do that might be a freelance job, but I'm just sitting here with my head
drifting over the screen swaying slightly with my eyes closed and slumber giving ME the callback.
I'm much more inclined to do as it wishes. Screw it, it's "my day" sounds so much better
than any offers I might receive or obligations to fulfill. There's nothing that sounds better than
"fuck everything" which is why it's always on heavy rotation on Sparks Radio with limited commercial interuptions.
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2:36 a.m. Why I hate Saturn
Sat around at the house for the first afternoon watching tv and surfing around online. You know if
you dig around you can find some pretty cool indie label websites that have some nifty obscure stuff
for reasonable prices and/or specials. On Ebay that just gets the word "rare" added to the title
and description and they jack the price up a few extra bucks along with some ridiculous shipping
cost.
One site I found today that I thought was particularly interesting was a live music archive of mostly
unknown groups that's free. You can download just 1 track or the whole show. There are some really
great, inexspensive tools and services out there through the internet for the unknown creative people
to get exposure.
I stopped by for a short visit with the friend that was in that nasty car accident a couple of weeks
ago. He's healing and really didn't look anywhere near as bad as the picture I'd conjured in my head
by his list of injuries. I'm still worried about him though, even if all the injuries heal back to
normal health. Depending on how he looks at it, he's either at an impasse or a crossroads and there's
a lot of intense confusion and emotions I would think. That's not exactly the catbird seat for serious
decisions and I feel helpless in a lot of ways to assist him. Hope, strength, friendship. That's about
all you can give to a person until they make the decisions that need to be made. It's easy to turn off
the ringer and miss the wake up call. God knows I've done it about a thousand times.
"In my dreams I'm dying all the time
As I wake its kaleidoscopic mind"
Favorite search term that brought someone to my diary for the day: "Wearing a garbage bag".
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082804 11:43 p.m
This turned out to be a decent birthday after all. I had a nice meal out with the folks,
I got a call from the car dealership I used to work at and they want me to come back to work
for them. I saw some friends, I got the ATHF Volume 2 which kicks ass. I've been stuffed
with food, I went to the movie theater and saw the new Jet Li film "Hero" which was pretty
good. My Ma's out of town and my dad works all night and it's just me, some junkfood, some
videos to watch, and the chair in full-out recline mode. And while this isn't specifically
birthday related, tomorrow will make 2 months sober, and I actually have the money in the
bank to pay my bills. Yes, (looks cautiously around), things are going well.. I'm a transplant
recepiant waiting to see if my body will reject the happiness organ. Is it really possible
to live a life that is not in the constant flux of chaos with the suck factor multiplier
turned down a couple of notches?? I tell you what, I'm going let myself like this for awhile
but I'm gonna keep a close eye on the shoes around here 'cause I'm one butterfingers cobbler..
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