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082504 10:51 a.m.
Todays favorite search term that led someone to my diary: "Pantyhose bound"
I'm going to pick my friend Bryan up today for some lunch and then drop him off for his 1st
session with the therapist I've been seeing. Doc Fox has been kind enough to take him as
a client for a fraction of his fee since Bryan is not capable of working and has very little
money and most of that has been going into hospital doctors pockets.
Bryan had to have about half his left leg below the knee amputated about 3 or so months ago
due to a severe infection in his foot complicated by diabetes. Diabetes has also done a nice
job of wrecking his health and organs as well. He's only just turned 29 a couple of weeks
ago and he's having to deal with doctors painting a very ugly, realistic picture of his mortality.
When he came down here several months ago to get it treated and stay with his mother during the
whole process, his relationship fell apart with the girl he'd been living with for a couple of
years or so. To avoid going through all his particulars, let's just say that it hasn't been a
very good year for him, and after talking about this with my therapist in my sessions he became
sympathetic to Bryan's plight.
It's sad to say, but Bryan's situation has helped me to put some perspective on my own problems.
I mean there's a cure for my disease if I work at it that puts me back into the hat with most
everyone else in terms of life expectancy, but for him there are a number of variables that
make the status of his lifespan unknown and regardless if it's sooner or later, there's diabetes
to contend with all the way.
He's a much stronger fellow than I, that's for sure. Yeah, he has bad days, pain mentally and
physically, thoughts on suicide and a smother.. err, I mean "mother" as he puts it, in protective
overdrive, but he makes plans, keeps his friends close, and has a very sharp mind and twisted
sense of humor that I'm even envious of at times. It amazes me the way he keeps going when there's
been so much adversity in his life even before he developed the illness. You could pick just one
of the handful of short-end sticks he's been saddled with and it would most likely be enough to
break my back.
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I got ahold of the record by the new incarnation of Sunny Day Real Estate called "The Fire Theft"
and I think I like it. Beth Gibbons of Portishead has also released a solo album I found out re-
cently, and I've managed to procure it as well. It sounds very nice so far. Other things I've
been listening to as of late: The Postal Service, Notwist, New Bomb Turks, Bikini Kill's "Pussywhipped"
which is a nostalgic favorite. I've been on an older punk kick I guess really: Husker Du, Black
Flag, Circle Jerks, Screeching Weasel, The Descendents, The Germs, The Misfits and half a dozen
other "The somethings" bands. I have no idea why I'm talking about this really, what does it
matter what I've been filling my ears with?
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