You know it has been about 2 years now. And I've communicated with her only in the past few months. I posted something I'd done that was published in a small press collection that I thought she might appreciate.
She did, however, she also chose to share it with another of her sisters. My ex was one of 4 sisters out of 11 children.
You know, you don't just spend 5 years of your life with someone, you spend that time with their family too. Especially if you were in my situation which is that I'm an only child 700 hundred miles away from my parents and family.
Now, what do you say to the people that are no longer family when the only thing that connected you to them was a sister?
It Hurts. It all hurts. If the day didn't suck, if the night wasn't bitter, then the memories can just walk all over you. In tandem though, it can fuck all your supposed style right out the window. Mash, mash, rejoinders are for idiots that think they are bullet proof.
I'll say "Happy Holidays", distance myself from actual facts, ignore the questions about her because it's futile to know, and paint the most unconvincing smile across my face if you ask me to say "cheese".
It's called being a "man" I suppose: I can tell it all but never show it and you certainly aren't allowed to see it.
