I've not been a fan of the non-clear alcohols.

So, I thought I'd see what it was about. It's

not even good whiskey. It's Jim Beam in a plastic

bottle. Plastic bottle = mark of quality. It

certainly warms the blood. And I've got fucking

diet coke as a chaser.. ugh. No wonder my stomach

is bitching. That's alright though, it will all

be alright, the 5 sleeping pills will make sure

of that, won't they?

I'm loving this space. The size of the room,

the privacy and distance, my own bathroom. I'm

even pulling out the guitar again. I've missed

music, I've missed playing. It transports me,

it does more for me then any of my other artistic

endeavors. I look forward to seeing what I can

do with the software that's out now to edit and

tweak and produce music.

I'm also looking forward to maybe doing some

painting again. If I could delve back into them,

maybe I wouldn't need the whiskey and the pills

and I'd have something to show for the escapism.

I'm a creative fellow, I can't deny myself it's

magic, my enjoyment, and the fact that I do have

some talent.

But in the next while I'd like to focus on the

submission for the next Attic Wit anthology on

Heaven and Hell. I'm not sure what to do, I just

know I'd like to do it well; to experiment and

push more of what I've learned as far as drawing

in the past year or two. Listen, I want it to

be over-the-top is what I'm saying. I just don't

know exactly what specific angle I want to work

on/towards.

I like Matt and contributing to his book, he's

a cool guy. I need "assignments" sometimes just

to get me motivated. But, I have some ideas

floating around for other projects. I was getting

burned out on the Journal page thing anyway, but

doing the research and plotting out a longer piece

was a new experience and might be my next level.

Anyway, I'm considering doing longer bits on

subjects of interest. Perhaps on Nick Drake,

some other obscure artists, and on things that

you might not think about, but are curious and

interesting to know about. Like, I've been won-

dering about the chemical/biological effects of

shutting down for sleep and what happens when you

are waking. What shuts down, what starts back

up? I'm curious, and I think distilled in a

simplified, entertaining (read "colorfully illustrated"),

way, other people might enjoy it too.

Man, you can really tell when you haven't been

playing guitar in a while. The callouses soften

and go away making fretting the strings feel like

they are biting into your fingers.

I love getting drunk and then really trying to

put these plans and thoughts and my life into

some perspective since it is the booze that will

derail all the work in the morning.

Anyway, I'd really like to have a date this year.

Is that too much of an undertaking?

"You think I'm dead,

but I sail away..."