First comes the heat, flawed jetsam, and nightmares.

Then your stomach turns, you are nauseous and empty

But still want to purge even if it's just fluid

It could be your stomach lining for all you care.

Your head swims and your limbs tremble and someone

has taken to scrapping your throat like stripping

furniture. You want to ball up on the comfort of

your favorite side, tuck your knees in, your arms

hold you, whatever you are now, since you are probably

not quite sure at the moment. You clench your eyes, if

you were not tensing your muscles you might just

crumble into pieces. Maybe the pain is a distraction,

a comfort of something familiar, it's a strange

medicine to inflict pain on the physical to counteract

the psychological. You ride it out to survive it,

to reach the surface, all focus has been shifted from

the barbed glitches distorting your mental chemistry to

regaining your bodies equilibrium. You'll be relieved

to finally rejoin people and being a person knowing

your secret, knowing you survived it, or perhaps having

some inner satisfaction of how far you are willing to go,

how deep your despair.