Get your own
     diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries newest entry My eyes just want to get rid of these holes inside.

2003-10-18 - 1:04 a.m.

You know what I wish? (To be perfectly honest). I wish I could take out my brain and stomp on it with my thick-souled shit-kickers and live long enough to enjoy the act. And boy do I wonder why I'm lonely and alone. It's bright thoughts such as that that really win the sweet-talkers over, (tonights entry is brought to you by the hyphen by-the-way). You know, the people that can slip into that cutesy voice over the sight of something adorable? "Oh look at that, pretty, pretty", etc. whatever. It'd be nice to be Ralph, (Chief Wiggums son from the Simpsons), for a while. Last night I spent some quality time smoking on the front steps thinking about what a mistake this incredible "thing" called life is. I was getting frustrated just thinking about the fact that it all might not suck so heinously bad if you didn't have to check in to the masses psyche. If you didn't have mob rules mentality setting the standard for something so absurd. I mean really, mortal body, self-awareness, consumerism and Brittany Spears. And of course the best part of this deal is that you can live your life a total fool with whatever conviction you can muster and guess what? You may never know if you were wrong or right or if you'll be aware of it after the fact. There might just be nothing at all. I mean, what if there is a God and he thinks some people deserve to die, (read: brutally maimed and slaughtered), but hates smokers? Instantly I've wasted my life.

See, this is why I just go watch "Futurama" or "Invader Zim" and think about burgandy panties and kitchy lollipops. Not at the same time, mind you, I mean one before the other. Cripes, I do have SOME sense of order you know..

I'll put it this way: How can we be spiritual beings, yet be material beings with an expiration date? There's logic missing or it's terribly flawed. You would think that after self-awareness we would have become possessed with solving the mortality issue, but it appears we settled for some half-assed, fence-riding bullshit called religion and stopped there and got started on the Sponge Bob air fresheners.

previous - next

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!