What she found was �Troll, dork, and Hanson�

I awoke this morning aware that I had been dreaming of a very lovely girl that owned her own train car. It was one of those lovely little dreams where I�m looking at them in the eyes, having good conversation and then suddenly a kiss and both of our souls come gushing out. The problem comes later where we find our two lovebirds standing outside of the car, and the brakes that were holding it in place release for some reason and it quickly begins to roll on the rails down the type of streets I�ve been told they have in San Francisco. I�m running after it desperately trying to catch up to it all the while thinking �What am I gonna do? Grab it and stop it??� Anyway, the girl was a mixture of someone I used to be friends with and a photo of a sweet, angelic faced girl, (that had the same name which is possibly the link and the trigger for this dream), that I saw at an art exhibit I passed yesterday. Dreams like that.. wonderful to have, awful to wake up to. The heart feels all fluttery and bippity-bop, but reality quickly comes in to point out the fact from fantasy. Besides, she might have owned the train car, but I think it was probably all loaded down with my baggage.

Anyway, I�ve been out and about walking around these past few days. The weather has finally taken a nice turn, 53 degrees and sunny today, and I like to get some exercise. I�ve been in such a stellar mood, I look at these lovely older homes with nice big porches, the streets, the sidewalks, the trees, catch sight of some birds and squirrels. I feel so content I�m drowsy. I say this just so you�ll know because I like to bitch a lot. Bitching, to me, doesn�t necessarily indicate a bad mood with me. I love to bitch. I think mixed with the right wit and humor, that it�s a powerful art. Which brings us to the next few paragraphs..

My main objective today was to finally open a bank account. I stepped into the first one which is the closest, (being a mere three blocks away), and was immediately greeted and all that jazz. I told the girl I just wanted to get some info on their different checking accounts. I�m still in that �student account� type of financial area since you can�t really depend on me to keep a certain balance. But those kinds of accounts are where you can easily get fucked though by banks, (limits on checks you can write, or teller visits, or atm withdrawals), so I wanted to do some comparison shopping of the three or four local banks on my side of the town. �Well if you can wait just a moment a customer service person can tell you all about our checking plans!� I looked around: no quick access pamphlets for info, I looked at her: she was cute. �O.k.� Ms. Bright and professional came over to speak with me, all purple business suit and all. She was my very own �Barney of the bank� and she wanted to find some things out. There�s one key phrase here that I must say about what I want or need in a bank account �No frills�. She wanted to know what kind of work do I do, do I have a job. �I just moved here a few weeks ago so not really� �Not really?� �Well, I do freelance stuff, work for hire� �Oh, well what do you do then?� �I�m an escort� I was nice, I left her off the hook pretty quick to know I was joking. She�s keying in information and continuing to chat with me and move things along and see what else she can sell me. I glaze over and phase out when the first type of account she mentions has something to do with $35,000. I do appreciate that she hasn�t sized me up or �profiled� me too much, but come one, windblown hair, a backpack well worn with strange purple stains, a couple of days stubble a shirt that says �Seventies�, �thrift store� and �wife-beater�, (as in the undershirts.. why am I explaining?? I�m not married!), �Have you ever been to Disneyland?� �Yes, a long time ago though�, I note an advertisement for some bank credit card they offer that�s somehow tied in to some Disney offer. �Well, you think you might wanna go in the near future?� �That�s not exactly the type of place I go out of my way to visit� �Oh come on now! What happened to the kid in you?� �I like bubblegum� I offer, opting not to say something like �I killed him, or I drank him to death�. Finally I think we�ve got it whittled down, her canon is pretty much empty. When I say �no frills�, I mean no frills and I think she�s starting to get that. There�s one more thing though: checks. I�m passed a large binder full of various styles broken up by different themes and categories. �I just want your basic check� �Oh, are you sure� It�s almost pouty and sad at this point. Isn�t there just some way she can �personalize� my �service�?? �Look, we send checks to pay bills, it doesn�t need to look like a greeting card.� She goes to the back to get some papers and such, we�re almost done. Victory! �He didn�t even want to pay the 5 bucks a month to do online banking!� I can hear her sob to a �account consultant�.

While she�s been inputting my info, the girl that originally greeted me has been standing to the side watching her. She must be in training. She�s cute, gangly, fashionably hip I suppose. There�s something about her that says �cute, smart and a dork� all at the same time. That falls roughly into �my type�. Just then her boyfriend shows up, (*sigh*), probably to take her to lunch. Can I just say �Joe Millionaire hair�? Do you get what I mean and how much that kind of hair to me sucks?? Anyway, the lady returns with some papers. I point out the misspelling of my first name on the forms I have to sign. It happens all the time so I�m used to it. Mostly I point it out just in case their will be a problem in some way with paperwork or �authenticating� my ID. �Oh I�m sorry! I can�t believe I did that, I could of sworn it was �e-w�.. She�s only had my drivers license and two pieces of plastic in her hands for the past ten minutes that�s raised so even a blind person could read that it�s with a �u-a�.. Talk about �personal service� Erica, Ellen, whatever your name was..

To be truthful, I really hate the way businesses keep trying to �personalize� service. I don�t need my service �personalized�. I don�t want them to try and build a �relationship� with me and their products or services. They�re just trying to create a loyal customer, and I�m not loyal to chains. And in case you haven�t put this one together, �personalized service� is slippery shit-speak for free marketing research. You are in essence, giving them that information or access to that information without them having to pay for it or dig for it through surveys. And this is especially true with the internet. There�s a lot of quick info that can be gathered very easily and efficiently about people when on the internet.

Anyway,.*realizes that the bitching could go on for hours* Heh-heh.. all in all it was a nice day..