I�m STILL exhausted. Crap, I don�t know what it is about me and sleep, but we aren�t getting along together too well lately. She�s frigid and keeping her legs crossed, that�s for sure. I�m about to pitch forward into my cheerios, fer real yo. But I�m in a good mood at least, too tired to be anything else right now maybe? Also I can�t help but feel anxious about the impending move. That deserves a few �oh boy�s!� don�t you think?I�ve had Whiskeytown �Listen to the rain� in my head all day which is an appropriate title not just because of the weather, (we�re experiencing some precipitation here folks), but I suppose it sums up some of where I�m at. However I would feel compelled to quote from N.M.H. �Engine� which has also of some note and significance to me at the moment:
�For I am an engine and I'm holding on
Through endless revisions to state what I mean
For sweetness alone who flew out through the window
And landed back home in a garden of green�
On lunch I indulge in some greasy appeasement of my appetite while listening to Bardo Pond �Lapsed�. Flux comes on and it�s just brutal. I don�t think they�re shaping noise, I think they�ve conjured it and it�s more intense then they can handle. It feels like it�s taking all of their strength to hold it back and contain it. The fury and the fury and it washes over me and is it rejoicing when it yanks your soul and says it all and you�re just so happy to be letting it out? It�s yet another thunderstorm and a magic revelation of someone else I can be, and of something I am not.
Everyone keeps saying to me: �I heard you�re leavin�� I�m already gone don�t you know. I never was really here anyway. What was here: The broken bits of me. Which begs the question who or what is leaving then??
