Another thing I like about the idea is just bringing only things that matter, that I have a purpose or use for. Not all the usual pack-rat garbage and excess stuff that you can't seem to part with but only really takes up space. Screw the sentimental stuff, I don't have the heart for memories anymore anyway. If I looked and thought too much about it all, I wouldn't be able to get up in the morning. I was in a relationship for two years once, and a mess for three years after. This last one was over five years, I can't really afford to think how long it might take to get over that one. It's already been a year and it still hurts. And not just a little either, more like a heavy, iron truncheon if I may be so dramatic. I only recently could even look at a picture of her.

When you go through something like that, it takes a while to seperate yourself, to extract or rebuild your identity. Maybe that's why I don't want all the gear: Too much baggage tied to someone and something else. I've never met a person like her before or since, never cared for anyone the way I did for her, and was certainly never as close to anyone as I was with her. And it only gets harder as you go when you've shared that much of yourself to ever want to go through that again. Learning the quirks, personalities, histories, meeting the families and friends, the whole process can be quite an investment.