What a day this has been running to escape the emptiness of everything when there's nowhere to go. It really hits me now how much I need to leave when I can't get any work done. That's the frustrating part. It's too cold to be able to sit out and draw and just read or enjoy the day. And I'm too uncomfortable to draw around other people.. (o.k. the folks). But, I went out and drove around anyway and started this drawing while sitting in the car (of all the sad and ridiculous places), in a park. There's a person who posted on the comic board about a play she had written and asking anyone if they would send her some illustrations of scenes from the story. I read thru the script and I found it pretty interesting as well as ambitious and unique. So why not, right? I like doing drawings for other people and projects, it's good practice. And also it makes me feel like a nice person to do something for someone else. I think a lot more people should make things and give them to people instead of all the crappy, mass produced generic luke-warm sentimental cards and gifts that really have no significant personal meaning.And what do my folks bring home, speaking of superficial crappiness? A rotating fiber-optic colored tacky, nightmare tree thing. What I hate is the feeling that we should just drop all this nonsense about going thru the holiday motions because it's just disingenous and fake, but people balk at that as if you're being "cheated" of the experience by not playing along. I feel more cheapened by being dragged into it. And more and more businesses stay open for them, and to throw a few pieces of ugly crap around and call it celibrating a holiday is just bullshit. If people really want to make something special, you can't just do it paint by number and impose some sort of value on it when there isn't any.
I love the idea of making new traditions though, or trying to figure out how to make each day in some small way special or different. Any break in the normal pattern or routine is probably good for the soul and the sanity. Man, what a sick, fucked-up ruse life can be sometimes. Or, at least, the people that participate in the continuation of the sham are fucked up. That's why I'm doing my best to steer clear even if I've gotta hibernate or draw in a car in the park when it's below 50 degrees.
Anyway, I miss having some space and privacy. It's eating away at me. And I have so few friends here really. Ah, fine quit bitching already. What can I say? Some things right now are great in their own way, but there's a couple o'pot-holed eye sores holding back traffic, whatever that's supposed to mean.
What was I saying again?? Oh, carry on then..
