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I can�t wait to get off work today. I�m in such a fine mood, and I�m looking forward to sitting in a park for a while and thinking, drawing and doing some writing. Fall is my absolute favorite season and already I can see it�s pallor, it�s glow. It�s in the early evening shadows; it�s in the breeze and the trees, leaves, just the entire atmosphere. It occurred to me also that all of my fond memories of Fall have nothing to do with drinking, quite the opposite in fact: full enjoyment means having all your senses open to experiencing the crisp air and crackly leaves. I took a day for myself Friday. Why not? I figure I�ve been at my job six months or so, on sick day isn�t too bad in that time. I did a lot of lounging about fiddling with my computer, drawing, watching bad TV. I had to milk those last quiet moments to myself out before my parents returned on Saturday. I feel I�m finally ready to start moving forward with some of the things I needed to be thinking about, things that will require some serious thoughts. Mostly it�s about relocating and all that that would entail. I think its just time to stop behaving like a victim of my own freedom and start making more decisive decisions. This still might lead to nothing or it might lead to everything changing, and I�m more inclined towards the latter. Now I just have to see if I can get focused and seriously screw up the courage because I�m not happy here, I can�t pretend to be. There�s security in its safety and complacency, but that�s not life. That�s not what I want. It�s time for all the excuses I�ve been making to be called in. They were necessary a few months ago, but they�re just holding me back now. I�m finally figuring some of this mess out I think. We�ll see..
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