|
It was a seemingly haphazard sort of weekend but thankfully I still have several more days of solitude to look forward to. I don�t know why, but it felt like a busy weekend and there were several things I wanted to do, but didn�t manage to get around to. I have a ton of work and ideas that I�m anxious to get started on them. There isn�t a specific plan per say, but I want to make an attempt to put my foot forward and at least test the waters. The book needs to be sent away and printed so I can distribute copies. The pages are going to be scanned in and loaded onto this website that offers free hosting for online comics. Then there�s the next collection of pages, a couple of minis where I illustrated some poems of mine and a collection of poems, writing, etc. that I�ve worked fairly intermittently with. I�ve downloaded some software for mixing music so that I can tweek this album of music I made some time back. I�m curious to see if I can fix some of the sound quality, etc. After those things, there�s a waiting list of a handful of more projects that are sitting on the back burner. My only problem really, (well, besides funds in some cases), is time and my sad lack of organization. Well, ok, there�s also some space issues too. I kept some odd hours but feel pretty rested although I�m still struggling under the grogginess. It�s been about two weeks now since I stepped down the Zoloft, and I can only feel a slight difference, so eventually I�ll be moving it down again. The situation is just frustrating and annoying no matter which way you look at it because as I lower the dose, I become a bit more anxious, but less dazed and also some trepidation as to how I will handle not having the medication as a crutch. The more I think about, the more I think that anytime you have an addict, no matter what the medication is, it�s still not a good idea to give it to them. They�re already used to having to rely on something to get through the day, and even if the medication is supposedly �non-habit-forming�, the addicts mind is. And when your used to using something to cope, the real issue seems to be undoing that need for anything, regardless of the values placed on it, (i.e. considered to be harmful or in this case, constructive). Everything else with my life right now feels to confused or complicated for me to even think about much less talk about. When I try to consider where I am and where I�m going, it�s completely clouded with uncertainty, but on a positive note, not doubt. I may not know where I�m going or what I�m going to do, I just have some faith that I can handle whatever comes my way. I�m not afraid of the possibilities, I just can�t seem to decide where to go. So, my hands aren�t on the steering wheel, but I have my seatbelt on, and plenty of tapes for the ride.
|
|
|
