I once described a drawing such as this one to a friend one time to illustrate an idea that I consider it to be a great sadness of our lives as human beings. Imagine the enclosed circles are our brains, like individual fingerprints. Occasionally coming into contact with one another, having some of the same geography in those loose grooves of experience and person, but never knowing or being able to connect. We will forever be in our own little bubbles, outside of the grace of pure understanding having to work around our clumsy language.

I don�t know why I was thinking about that just now, but I was, (in amongst about 100 other things). I�ve been very �mental� in the past week or so, stuck up in my headspace where all these loose bits are finally starting to connect and fire. It�s a state between any extreme emotion and while I�m happy to be making these discoveries, it�s becoming rather taxing and draining. The non-intellectual side of me is crying to come out and play, so maybe I�ll get it a kung-fu film. I have a few things that I reserve for changing my mood like that. Things that once you are watching or listening to, it would be very hard to be in an ill mood although they only work so-so for escaping deep thought.

I�m waiting patiently for this evening as I do most days, waiting to find the consolation of peace which usually arrives sometime between midnight or one when I�m just too exhausted to think straight and can stare at a space on the wall and sincerely say, if you asked me what was on my mind, �nothing�.

There�s a very dear friend of mine going to be tested tomorrow because the symptoms of the illness and way that she�s been feeling seem to suggest bone marrow disease or leukemia, and I just can�t accept it. I came out of this painful, self-involved hole just enough time to see all these unfortunate and devastating things happen to some of my oldest and closest friends, and I just don�t know how to deal with it sometimes. She�s afraid, and I�m afraid, and her fianc� is afraid, and her family is afraid, and when she mentions dieing I just fall right off the floor, my brain goes offline. I�m not trying to be so heavy here, but these people just need to know that they aren�t allowed to do any such thing and that I can hold a grudge for an eternity, so sooner or later I will locate them and kick their ass.

Yeah, I need to move out of this or else it�s going to turn into a milkshake, kung-fu, blue blowout bubblegum day. It�s most definitely a park day. Find a table in the shade away from too many eyes and get lost in tiny lines and just look at the texture of things: tree bark, grass and weeds and clouds and sky and make up little histories for all the notches and initials in the table. There�s joy in there, hidden in the tiny things that compose life with their own truth and lessons and stories. It�s time to go discover more..