I've just recently become friends with some people that I had only previously been acquainted with through mutual friends when I used to live here, and oddly enough, they have some of the same problems or issues; however, they haven't really started pursuing dealing with those issues. And, of course, by issues I mean alcoholism, plus a decent amount of social awkwardness/anxiety.

Anyway, the things they were describing were very key indicators of having an addiction, (black outs, withdrawal, etc.), so I've been just subtly commenting on it and sharing some of the things that I've experienced so they can compare and get some perspective on what is happening to them.

This could have been an added factor, but wasn't a large reason for slipping, because I'm smart enough to keep my distance from them such as visiting them at their homes, and only engage them in public/neutral environments, (i.e where alcohol wouldn't be accessible and wouldn't be on their person or in front of me).

Primarily, I think, what has been bothering me in a more conscious way is just a feeling of alienation I suppose. Feeling that there are few people that I interact with here that I can relate much to. And that fact is even more glaring and obvious when it comes to any possibilities of a more "personal" relationship.

When I was a younger lad, I think some of the differences in interests, etc. served as a form of an armor, but now as I've gotten older, those things seem to be a divisive force creating a gap between myself and others. I've really been trying to look a little deeper at myself in terms of my self-concept and identity because I've lived so many years through the alcoholic persona that was a very negative creature, and also at how the relationships I've had have affected my self-image and at times it's not been the easiest ground to dig through.

Anyway, this is an ongoing thing that I'm going to have to continue to examine...