And filled with despair

There's no one could be so sad

With gloom everywhere

I sit and I stare

I know that I'll soon go mad

In my solitude

I think I've recieved two e-mails this entire week..*sigh*. I hate to say people are disappointing, but they are. I suppose that it came as a bit of a surprise when everything collapsed and I ended up here that all the people that I had made friends with in the five years that I was in Philadelphia stopped contacting me. I've sent them e-mails and they simply do not reply. People that I've spent holidays with, people that have introduced me to their families, that have cried on my shoulder, that have invited me to their weddings, taken trips with to New York, etc., been on vacations with, worked the same job with, have crashed on my couch, or I have on theirs and have done almost everything else there is to do under the sun. One of them even had a baby a month ago and I found out not even second hand.

Not a call, not a letter, no an e-mail from any of them. Not just ONE of them, but ALL of them. And I should care about people why?

Thankfully I'm a bit wiser now because everything in my brain is screaming to go get plastered. Not "buzzed", I mean the dump-as-many-shots-down-your-throat-until-you-pass-out-on-the-spot drunk. That's certainly what I feel like doing, but I won't because I know that I would be just hurting and punishing myself and it sounds like a good idea now, but in the morning..ugh...and then the whole day would be shot.